Osama bin Laden’s Last Will And Testament

With all this idiotic talk and politically correct rhetoric going on about Osama bin Laden’s death, all I have to say is thank God for Saturday Night Live.

Here’s the SNL skit, spoofing bin Laden’s last will and testament.

I don’t care who you are, that’s funny right there.

Is it politically correct?  Of course not.  That’s what makes it funny.

What’s more, this blog is blatantly anti-political correctness.  You would know that if you’ve read my other posts.

Go ahead.  I’ll wait.

*Hums the Star Spangled Banner*

Finished?  Ok.

This SNL video absolutely had to be done, in order to restore the sanity of the American public after bin Laden’s death.  I don’t think I could have taken one more ‘was bin Laden’s killing legal‘ or ‘is it right to show  Osama’s death pictures‘ article.  Islamic militants have even made the news, claiming the United States didn’t give Osama bin Laden a proper Muslim burial.


Maybe the world (more specifically the media) has some crazy notion that pre-9/11, things at the bin Laden hideout went something like this:

bin Laden: Ok boys, we’re gonna do this by the book.  Now Anjem, you need to make sure you’re not uttering any racial slurs during the attack.  Screaming that you love Allah is ok, but try not to make anybody feel bad.  Also, let them know how sorry you are for doing this, and that you know how much their families will miss them.

Anjem: Awww…but Osama.  You know how much I like the racial slurs…

bin Laden: Shut up, Anjem.  We are not here to make enemies.  Jaleel!  Listen up!  Be sure to say a Christian prayer, Buddhist chant, and a Jewish minha right before the takeover.  And do the whole crossing-chest thing they do in their churches, so we don’t get accused of being unfair.

Jaleel: But Osama, I can’t do the crossing thing.  Allah will be very angry, and might not give me all my virgins.

bin Laden: Who is running this show, me or you Jaleel?  Allah will understand.  We must do this in the proper, politically correct fashion.  And even though you guys will be dead, rest assured that I will personally call president Bush when this is over, and ask if there is anything that I can do to help.  You know, with the cleaning of the rubble or the burying of their people.  Praise be to Allah, unless that offends anybody.  Anybody?

Why else would they put those jokers on the air?

Newsflash:  The world is afraid of Islam.

It’s more out of fear, than respect or fairness, which is why we’re expected to take the moral high road on this one.  Even president Obama, the leader of the most powerful country in the world, made it a point to say that we weren’t at war with Islam during his national address, the day bin Laden was killed.  Obama also made it clear that America wasn’t the antagonist.

Why don’t you just come out and say it, Mr. President?

Please don’t hurt us.

Obama phrased his address this way because he is afraid of the repercussions of killing the world’s worst terrorist.

Not that vengeance shouldn’t be taken in to account.  But did Obama really need to fall over so overtly in front of the entire country, after commanding our brave soldiers to commit such a noble act just hours earlier?

Take a break already!  Our boys (and girls) earned their moment in the sun.

Of course, president Obama’s official reason for taking a dive at the hands of Islam will be that most of the world’s Muslims are moderate.  Again, we are not at war with moderate Muslims, and he doesn’t want to offend them.  This overplayed rhetoric spills out of  liberal politicians any time Muslims are mentioned, and Obama is no exception.

Hey guys, here’s a revelation!  It’s the Muslim leadership who are the extremists.  And good, moderate followers will do what their leaders tell them.

At least I think that’s how the whole ‘leader-follower’ theory works.  Especially within a religion as strict as Islam.

I’m not just picking on Obama.  The rest of the first-world leaders seem to feel the exact same way.  Just take a look at what is going on across the pond.  Sharia law was implemented for civil court cases in London as far back as 2008.  I’m sure it’s just a matter of time until criminal law follows suit.  That is how Islam is designed–to peacefully get a foothold in the beginning, and then slowly take over the entire community its followers inhabit, using the community’s own sense of fairness and virtue against it.

It is ingenious, really.  And evil.  A master plan for a master race faith.

Seems like something similar happened back in the 1940s.  I can’t quite remember how we handled that.  Oh, World War II, that’s right…

In the end, the rest of the world’s religions aren’t to blame for the hateful, cruel, unjust ways of Sharia law, Islam, or their golden boy, Osama bin Laden.  So why should we pick up the slack?  America (or any other country) is not required to bury terrorists according to their faith, nor to handle bin Laden’s corpse with kid gloves, just because other terrorists will be upset if we don’t.

They’re terrorists.  They want to kill us and everyone and every thing we love.  The last thing we should be thinking about is whether or not we owe them some kind of polite courtesy.

Giving a bully your lunch money, and telling him what a nice guy he is, is a very temporary solution.

History has shown that when Islam conquers another group of people, it doesn’t usually matter whether the conquered group was submissive/remorseful about previous acts or not.  As staunch as the Muslim faith is, we unbelievers are condemned to inferiority and dhimmitude simply because we are not Muslims.  That is our crime, and as far as Islam is concerned, it is unforgivable.

A couple verses from the “peaceful” Koran should let you know just where you, as an infidel, stand with Muslims (thanks to thereligionofpeace.com for these excerpts):

O ye who believe! Fight those of the disbelievers who are near to you, and let them find harshness in you, and know that Allah is with those who keep their duty.(9:123)

Or how about:

Shall we tell you of those who lose most in respect of their deeds?  Those whose efforts have been wasted in this life, while they thought that they were acquiring good by their works?  They are those who deny the Signs of their Lord and the fact of their having to meet Him (in the Hereafter): vain will be their works, nor shall We, on the Day of Judgment, give them any weight.  That is their reward, Hell, because they rejected Faith, and took My Signs and My Messengers by way of jest. (18:103-106)

As this last passage clearly states, it doesn’t matter whether you think you are accomplishing good deeds or not, if you don’t believe in Allah, you are nothing, and bound for hell.  It is painfully obvious that it will do us no good to try to appease Islam, whether or not we believe our prior actions to be wrong.  They simply don’t care.

The leaders of the free world and liberal society are attempting in vain to gain the trust and respect of Muslims, when according to their beliefs, as proven above, it just isn’t possible.

We are not going to apologize for making fun of Osama bin Laden.  He killed thousands of innocent Americans.  It’s literally the least we could do.

Unlike the politicians, most American people are not afraid, simply watchful and concerned.  As long as we have our military and Second Amendment rights, the citizens of this great nation will do just fine.

I would like to thank SNL for their damn-near masterpiece.  You kids did all right.

What a fine, comical end to such a waste of human skin.